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[01 Oct 2010|09:52pm] |
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And now I remember why I hardly ever check this thing. It gives me headaches.
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[08 Apr 2010|02:49am] |
Is it asking too much to be given time,
To know these songs and to sing them?
Is it asking too much of my vacant smile,
And my laugh and lies that bring them?
But as the stars are going out,
And this stage is full of nothing,
And the friends have all but gone,
For my life, my God, I'm singing.
We'll take our hearts outside,
Leave our lives behind,
And watch the stars go out.
Since I never heard about my callbacks, I decided I needed a new project. I'm going to run in the half marathon in June. I can run six or seven miles easily. I am always up for a challenge, and while I constantly challenge my mind, I rarely challenge my body. I have been reviewing diets and I think a modified clean eating diet would be best. Which means no more sweets, no more greasy burgers. Just pure food to make my body into a well honed machine.
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[06 Mar 2010|12:00am] |
Tail Lights Fade by Buffalo Tom is my new favorite song.
And I realize, I have obscure and strange taste in music, but the internet has opened up a whole new world of music to me. There is a profound sense of connection to the world when you hear a song and you feel as if the author who penned it felt, at some moment, similar feelings to your own.
( Nick )
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[22 Feb 2010|08:42pm] |
I need to stop reading so much Emily Dickinson
My life closed twice before its close—
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me
So huge, so hopeless to conceive
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.
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[16 Feb 2010|09:22pm] |
"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." —Janis Joplin
[Filtered to Draco, Scorpius, and Daphne]
The doormat is gone. I've spent far too long bending until I broke. My life for the past few months has been touchy feely bullshit, overemotional drivel and trying my best to make you all happy. All I have learned is it made us all miserable. I'm tired of giving control of the strings that control how I feel about myself to those who has so little regard for it.
I'm done.
Scorpius, I do love you. I do want to be a part of your life, but I am done being an afterthought. If you want a relationship with me, it will be a two way street built on respect and love, not what you need from me in your attempts to cure your father. I deserve more than what I am given, and I will no longer accept table scraps and beg for more. I am worth more than that, and I would hope you would respect and love me enough to see that. I fully expect you to become angry at me, to yell and scream and throw a fit about this. But I am firm in my decision.
I am doing my best to be happy. I am the only one who can do it, and I sincerely hope that you all can respect that.
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[14 Feb 2010|11:31am] |
Happy Overpriced Roses and High Expectations That Are Never Met and Bias Against Singles Day
Forget it. I am going out tonight and having fun. I bought a short blue dress and I plan to make the most of it.
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[04 Feb 2010|11:41pm] |
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So much to do... and I don't feel well.
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[19 Jan 2010|05:56pm] |
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You can ask me any question and I have to answer it truthfully, but in turn I get to ask you one right back. Some answers can be privatized, but that choice is up to you. But seriously. Ask me anything. I am an open book pretty much.
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[17 Jan 2010|12:28am] |
I know what I want for my birthday:
One normal day, free of family drama, where I can feel like a normal KSU student.
One normal day spent with people who care about my happiness.
One normal day where I can actually feel like I am 19.
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[06 Jan 2010|08:04pm] |
My dorm is way too quiet and I can't figure out how to dock my iPhone into the stereo to fight back the silence.
I event tried playing that Rock Band game, but the crowd kept booing me. I think video games aren't my forte. I did pretty good with the singing, though. Which is good, I need the practice.
I wish Draco would come back
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[03 Jan 2010|10:40pm] |
My schedule for this semester is looking quite nice:
Chem 102 and lab (4)
Statistics for Research (3)
Public Speaking (3)
Microbiology and lab (4)
French 102 (3)
I am seriously considering changing my major to Clinical Laboratory Science. I think it might give me an edge in the research I want to do.
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[29 Dec 2009|12:54am] |
It's all like socks for Christmas, and watching all the other kids get toys and sweets. Then being told you don't deserve anything but socks.
I'm tired of socks.
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[26 Dec 2009|04:50pm] |
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My best mate sent me a Christmas care package from back home. She knows how homesick I can get, and while it was a day late, it was nice to have some of my favorite sweets and goodies from home for tea today. As usual, she went overboard, so I have a ton of things in the cupboards in the dorm. Draco, Scorpius, and Pansy, feel free to help yourselves to whatever you like. However, if either of you find a Merlin card in the chocolate, I'd like to have it. I lost mine.
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[23 Dec 2009|12:11am] |
I miss my father so much. I hate Christmas.
Happy Christmas, for those I won't see before then.
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[15 Dec 2009|10:09pm] |
[Draco and Scorpius]
The Housing Department said that the housing switch went through and I can move in after finals.
[Jamie]
Since I have agreed to this party, maybe I should actually meet you beforehand.
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[13 Dec 2009|04:51pm] |
Three more days, and then I am done, and then I can start the process of moving to a new dorm room, and some private research. I really wish I could go home for Christmas, though what family I have is here. I just miss the snow, the lights and decorations in London, and saying "Happy Christmas" and not getting funny looks.
I wish I had someone special in my life, too. It is the price I am paying for my son.
Daphne? Do you want to go shopping next week?
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[09 Dec 2009|01:51pm] |
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Is anyone taking French 101 or Anatomy and wants to study for finals? I think I'd be more successful with these flashcards if I had someone to work with me.
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